‘What took you so long?’ a voice said.
‘I beg your pardon?’ the captain said, clearly confused and slightly taken aback.
‘I’ve been floating around for days just hoping someone would save me. Can you get me out of here please? I know you think I’m a mermaid that you’ve captured with your net but I’m not.’
The captain and the puppets quickly pulled the net off the dome and took a nervous step back as a pink apparition burst through the bubble. It was a hippo.
‘Hi! I’m Jessica the Pink. Perhaps you’ve heard of me? I’m the main entertainer on the Oceanaris or at least I was until I fell overboard. I’m starved. Do you have any watermelon or shortbread?’ Suddenly she noticed the captain’s epaulets. ‘Ooh, those cupcakes look delicious and you also have watermelon!’
The captain quickly introduced himself and his two friends and in no time, she was eating a rather large portion of watermelon in the kitchen along with a big, pink cupcake. Buster and Stoffel barely said a word and could hardly take their eyes off her. They had never in their lives seen anything like this and were totally intrigued by not only her looks but by the way she spoke and the things she said.
‘So, how did you fall off a luxury cruise ship, Miss Pink?’ the captain asked.
‘Oh do call me Jessica or Jess, Jessie, even J if you like. I’m actually quite embarrassed to say Mr. Laser, …’
‘Captain Laser!’ Stoffel and Buster exclaimed in one voice.
‘Ooh, captain! My ship also had a captain. But anyway, I was on a break between two sets and I went outside to get some fresh air and have something small to nibble like a box of shortbread cookies. They were delicious by the way. But then one of them fell on the floor and rolled down into the gutter below me. It was too good to let go so I reached over to pick it up, lost my balance and the next thing I knew, I was a mermaid in the water. I screamed and cried but no-one heard me, not with all that noise and music playing. The worst thing is, I didn’t have even one of those shortbread cookies and oh yes, I can’t swim. Can I have another cupcake, Captain?’
‘What?’ Stoffel exclaimed, ‘A hippo that can’t swim!’
‘I have other gifts, Snottel!’
‘It’s Stoffel, not Snottel!’ Stoffel said indignantly.
‘Ok, you two. We’re all friends here,’ the captain said sternly, taking another cupcake off his epaulet, and giving it to Jessica. As she put her hand out, it suddenly filled her hand.
‘Wow! How did you, …?’
‘Capten, whatta? Honji sê huh?’ Buster appealed demanding to know what was going on. Captain Laser quickly brought the monkey puppet up to speed to which he simply said, ‘Whatta?’
‘So where did you find the bubble to float in?’ Stoffel asked, still totally intrigued by the pink hippo who was now smacking her lips and enjoying the blue cupcake.
‘I made it,’ she said out of the side of her mouth.
‘How?’ the captain asked.
She swallowed and said, ‘It was part of my act on board the ship. It’s one of the gifts I was hired for.’
‘Gift?’ Buster repeated, looking at the captain.
‘Nak,’ the captain said.
‘Ooh!’ Buster said.
Jessica stood up and moved away from the chairs, taking her position in a small open space in the kitchen. As the three males stared at her, she slowly brought up her left hand and covered her right nostril with it. She then closed her eyes and her mouth and slowly started to blow. In a matter of a few seconds, a giant pink bubble appeared out of her left nostril and totally enveloped her whole body. When she opened her eyes, Captain Laser and the two puppets were staring at her with their mouths open.
‘It not only floats,’ she said from inside the bubble, her voice sounding like it had Auto-Tune on it, ‘but it’s impenetrable too, quite bulletproof.’
‘Aw, whatta, whatta?!’ Buster exclaimed, clearly frustrated.
Captain Laser quickly explained it all to him to which he simply said ‘Whatta? Whoa!’
‘Try it. Throw something at me,’ she said with a challenge.
The captain looked around the kitchen and his eye fell on a hardcover book lying on the counter next to the kettle. He picked it up and said, ‘Are you sure about this?’
‘Do it! Throw the book at me. Do it now!’
Without putting too much effort into it, Laser flung the book at the bubble. It struck the orb, didn’t even bounce but simply plopped onto the floor beside it.
‘Surely you can do better than that!’ Miss Pink shouted.
For the next seven minutes, the captain, Buster and Stoffel hurled anything and everything at Jessica’s bubble, from graters to spatulas, spoons, forks and knives. Nothing came close to penetrating the bubble and everything lay scattered around the bubble with Jessica smiling from ear to ear inside her glass dome.
‘Do you carry a gun, Captain?’ Jessica asked.
‘No, but I have a flare gun, …’ he said.
‘That will do! If you’ll carry me and my bubble to the deck, I’ll show you what this bubba can really do,’ she said enthusiastically.
‘Bubba?’ Buster asked, looking at the captain.
‘Bubble,’ the captain said. Buster shook his head, clearly confused.
The captain picked up Jessica and her bubble and she, like a queen, regally sat and watched as the other two puppets made a pathetic effort of helping carry her up the stairs. As they reached the deck the captain and the puppets were all heaving.
‘Oh, come on, I’m not that heavy,’ she said as they gently tried to put her down.
‘Let me get that flare gun,’ the captain said breathlessly and disappeared behind the tower. In a few seconds he was back with a large pistol-looking weapon.
‘Whoa!’ the two puppets and Jessica exclaimed.
‘Are you sure about this?’ Captain Laser asked for the second time. ‘It will not look good if I blow you and your bubble to smithereens today.’
‘Captain, I promise you this is the highest quality loogie you’ll ever find. Nothing can penetrate it. Believe me, I’ve tried,’ she said confidently.
‘Loogie?’ Buster repeated, looking at the Captain expectantly.
‘Snotta,’ the Captain said.
‘Yuckowawa!’ Buster exclaimed.
‘Eeeeeeew! That’s disgusting!’ Stoffel cried out.
‘Takes one to know one, Snottel!’ Jessica said disdainfully yet with some glee.
‘Alright, the boys and I are going to go and stand over there.’
‘Captain, you can shoot it from one meter away. That flare is going nowhere.’
In spite of her over confidence, Captan Laser and the two puppets moved about six meters away. Everyone was a little on edge at this stage. The wind had come up and even the waves seemed a bit jumpy.
‘Are you ready?’ the captain shouted.
‘Yes, Captain. Fire away!’ She replied.
The captain, with the two puppets peering at Jessica’s bubble from behind his legs, aimed the flare gun directly at the bubble and said, ‘Well, here goes.’ As he squeezed the trigger, a red comet-like flame exploded out of the gun and hit the bubble with full force. She didn’t even look up but stared indifferently at the horizon. As she had predicted, nothing happened. The flare had simply plopped to the ground and quickly fizzled out. Not only had it not penetrated the bubble but the powerful flame had been snuffed out within seconds.
‘Whoa!’ the captain and the puppets shouted in unison.
‘That’s one tough loogie, Pinkie!’ Stoffel exclaimed excitedly.
‘That’s Miss Pink to you, Snottel!’